Question: I have social anxiety disorder, I feel uncomfortable, hesitation to smile fully in social regions, I have fear of unborn, of past school events and always feel someone is watching m in bus, train, etc. I have a long history in this. And my condition worsens in sun, I literally feel to cry for no reasons.
I had been diagnosed with social anxiety 4 yrs. back and the medicines that were given not worked properly. And then I was given pexep cr 25 in which my initial days were like nightmares but after some days I felt good. After taking this medicine for about 5-6 months my doc. advised me to quit by breaking the tablet into 4 equal parts and after a month I had completely stopped it. After that I felt very depressed and same has occurred again and most difficult was to stop the medicine. I also felt some small attacks. I am now somewhat ok then compared to 3 years back. From my childhood of about 8 yrs I was very shy especially to girls and talked very less. in AC room, my face becomes tomato red. my doc. prescribed me with nexito forte, after 2 months, nexito plus and then half the side of nexito plus and i am still continuing with this. i want to completely become free from SA disorder. it ruined my schooling creating damage to my ambition. i have a good grip nw comparatively. i have joined english speaking classes despite knowing good english. my doc. suggested me this but i am facing problems in public speech despite of full preparation, very few words i am able to say.
aim is to join armed forces as an officer but if i tell anybody, they laugh or make fun of me.
Currently I am doing breathing practice, weight exercise, 20 pushups, jumping, meditation, having good diet, and my body is in good shape.
My current problems are:
sweating,   Blushing in front of public or waiting fr bus.
Before going somewhere my heart runs fast and little fear occurs
little confidence and faith
Most time thinking of unnecessary things
Can't wait fr bus or train fr more than 5-10 minutes and face becomes red
eating in public
going out with my friends and enjoy but not able to do fully. I always try to give my give my 100%.
I want to have a normal and fearless life. Please guide me what to do sir. i hv met many docs. but not finding much useful. in clinic, i am nt able to tell fully also. i hv overcome my body's shaky feeling nd lack of sleep.
Have also attended some sessions of my doctor in which he guided me to think positive and meditate and expose to anxious situations and make notes of it. I had and also doing this but when expose to sun I get very much anxious and water comes from eyes and even in Communication through eye contact. And not able to completely be confident.
 Most of all is I fell very very much anxious in crowd or when waiting to give exam outside with huge crowd.
if consecutively 2-3 days i spend fully in home, afterwards, when i go out, i feel vry nervous.
Will it ever be cured? Please help to cure it completely.
if one day i do not take medicine, then i feel like crying nd sleeping all the day.
i m using inderal 20 also beffore a speech, but nt feeling effective.
i hv blood test, xray, also but they were normal. please sir help me. one time i thought for a suicide also. in my school days, people thought me like joker and coward.

sir, i want to know about the medication. whether to use or not. if i am taking it, i am feeling good. or else i feel like crying.

sir, i went through the articles. it explains about various mental illness nd their cure. i am regularly practicing meditation with the audio's. due to my doctor's advice, i am taking half nexito plus medicine. but i m feeling depressed. feeling like my eye lids are doing weight lifting. truky saying sir, i am losing hopes.

sir, sorry i did nt hv guts to call you yesterday. from 2day onwards, i gave myself a push to start exposing myself in anxiety situations. i felt nice after coming home. i had nightmare yesterday, i was running in my house, and i was very scared of nothing. i m doing daily meditation, breathing exercises, weight exercise. there are lot of videos in net regarding deep hypnosis/hypnotherapy regarding SA disorder. can they help me?
there was a speech 2day, in which i had performed well, but while smiling, my cheeks were like dancing, nervous like smile. not being able to express fully. what to do sir? i think it requires a lot of time with practicing.