Brief Answer:
Answer: Malingering
Detailed Answer:
Although it is difficult on an online forum to ask and get all the information, I am very close to being sure that your wife is malingering. The cardinal symptoms can be found on the following link:
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After you read the above please do the following:
1. Talk to your wife, starting with the hearing problem and the evidence you have for there being no problem and that you have had a consultation with an
online doctor and have her read the article as well.
2. Talk to her frankly about sexual intercourse, being married for so long an not having consummated your marriage is a serious deal and should not be ignored. Although sex is not everything in marriage, it is an important part and leads to bonding and the sense of being "married".
3. If you know that she is exaggerating complaints about your parents, its a part of her malingering behavior, again please gently confront her about this and have a XXXXXXX discussion (NOT an argument) along with her and your parents together.
4. If your wife is not getting along with your mother in the kitchen, have them schedule days in which each of them gets to use the kitchen on certain days - maybe alternate days - and the other will not talk about whatever is going on in the kitchen, just that it has to be the way it was at the beginning for the next person the next time around.
5. Everybody has different tastes, and if your wife does not like not-so-spicy food, you can give her ideas in private that she could use spices on her food, for example she could use sauces, condiments, etc of her liking to make her food taste like it should. May sound like an easy solution which is not but is worth a try.
If your wife cannot compromise and / or adjust to this new situation, she probably will not to any other new situation, be it work or friends or travel or food or whatever and she might just be saying that she "loves it" even though she actually doesn't because she does have a problem - Malingering. The fact that your
anxiety is going up due to this situation that you have tried to cope with in the best possible manner indicates that there is a problem with your wife. If having her educated about her problem does not help, give her examples of your friends who are doing well in situation similar to this though no two situations are the same.
If its all about the baby and you are able to have sexual intimacy, i.e. penetrative sexual intercourse with her and are not able to conceive even after 6 months of trying, get yourself and your wife checked out; by specialists;
psychiatrist and gynecologist. There are many ways to get pregnant, however I suggest that you make sure you want to live with your wife to raise that baby. Babies are not the answer to relationships that have gone sour due to problems in your spouse a.k.a malingering.
That said there are limits to coping and if you think you have crossed yours please consult a couple's counselor. It is better to be out of a bad marriage than to be in one where your partner is not adjustable/compromising of any situation and does not give even one ear to any of the solutions to the so called problems that come up.
I hope this helps. I wish you the very best. Take care of yourself and have a good one!
Dr. Sushil Kumar Sompur
Note: For further guidance on mental health,
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