I am two weeks off of tramadol. I have been taking it for 12 years. I am full of RAGE. I cannot control myself. I have a good husband and he doesn t deserve this. What am I going to do? It s either lose my family, kill myself, or go back to using. I don t know where to turn. Doctors don t understand or care. Even if I make it through this by some miracle, what am I going to do about the chronic pain in my back and knees. I ve had surgery on them all, but chronic pain remains. You see, I unloaded trucks for a long time. I am a 55-year-old female.