Hi been useing perks an ocy for about ten years. On and off it started out every day eat prerks for years when I was 20. I missed days on pepose because I always new in the back of my mind I should. I meet a girl I ve been with her for 6 year she has no idea. She knows about my past. But since I ve been with her it s been on and off. A few months on a few months off. I can hide real well cause I drink 5 days a week. She is such a good person who doesn t really drink or know this life. Well last Jan 2011 I stoped for 6months and for so dumb reason I did it again. I got caught right up and at this point it s been 1 month sober and I m seriously depressed. I don t remember it takeing this long to fell half decent. I ve been exercising doin cardio weight training for two week but I m sick I can t take it. I m reweing my life with my girl. But for some reason the depression is harder this time then ever. I do have more things on my plate from a personal business and I m laid off with my normal job. Sure they play a factor but don t fidget the 10 year on off drug use. My question is will my brain eventually produce normal endorphins so I can live a normal live for me and my family. I have secluded myself and I don t want 2 anymore please help