Depression, Low Self Esteem, No Family Support, Deteriorating Health. Unable To Talk Openly To Male Therapist. Guide

I have been seeing a therapist for over a year. One did clinical therapy. I was doing better with her and able to speak openly. Right now I am seeing a male therapist. I don't feel I can be as open and direct with him. I have been having depression problems since I as a child. I as the fat little kid that wore glasses, everyone would make fun of me all through my school years and never any let up. I didn't have one that I could go to. Not even my mother. I have been married twice. Once for ten years to a man that was nothing but a drunk and a liar. After ten years, I felt that I couldn't take any more. I left and got a divorce. I have been married now for thirty-three years to the same man. There is so much more to my being depressed and have been for all these years. Plus, in the last fifteen years I have had four spinal surgeries, have lost a twenty five year job, and I am a disabled person with a husband feels that he is obligated, and no family to rely on. Where do I go from here to try and recover what is left of a wasted life? Who can I go to for help?