Hey a little background before I ask my question. About 3 or 4 years ago I was prescribed a CNS stimulant called vyvanse starting at 30mg a day and ending on 50mg a day. That ended about 2 years ago because I could no longer afford the meds. So I then started buying adderall off the street to maintain the life that I was able to achieve thanks to the medication I was on. However, any amount of self control I once had has been almost completely extinguished. I had problems with abusing vyvanse, but I never felt nearly as powerless with vyvanse as I now do with adderall. The toll that this addiction has had on my life physically, mentally, and socially is truly immeasurable. What can I do to take back my life? And please don't say rehab because I know that's an option, however an option that is sadly too much of a financial burden for it to be anything but a last resort if not impossible altogether. Also as a side question related to this problem, I get this strong desire to crack my knuckles every time I take adderall and It seems to be destroying something important in my fingers, particularly my thumbs. What could I do to figure out what exactly the damage is and if it could be treated? I am well aware that cracking your joints is supposed to be virtually harmless, but the negative effects from doing so has become very tangible and progressively gets worse. Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate you taking time to listen to my problem and trying to help. I look forward to hearing your suggestions/answers. Sorry about the length of this message too. Sincerely,
David