I have been having constant thoughts of suicide for about the last 2 years. they wane from time to time but never go away. I have been on meds for the last 7 years. I cannot sleep. i am usually awake all night till 5 or 6 am. then try to sleep. some times i do most times not. The suicidal thoughts are giving me terrible anxiety as well. I have come to the realization that at some point or another , my life will end by my own hand. I have a wonderful loving wife and 2 great children. They are the only reason i am still here. but it is becoming such a struggle. I have lived in constant pain from a severe back injury. I have been a diabetic for almost 30 years. I am legally blind in one eye as a result of diabetic retinopathy. I am tired of being a human pin cushion. I am getting close to my end and starting to accept that. I just dont know what to do anymore. I am so sorry to bother you. I have no one I can confide in. I will not put this burden on my family and most of my friends are far away as I had to move away from my home because i could no longer afford it there.