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Instead of walking away from the
tantrum, you could try the homebase approach.
Stay nearby the scene and keep busy: read a book.
Don’t get drawn into the tantrum or start arguing.
If the tantruming upsets your harmony or the child wants to get physical, you need to walk away. A phrase we use is: “That’s disturbing my peace.” Remember, a tantrum will go on as long as it can hold an audience. Big audience reactions will be rewarded with an encore. Sometimes, announcing “I’ll be here when you’re ready to calm down and talk” is enough to motivate the child into changing characters.
When a two-year-old goes out of control, you can usually physically take charge. This is not so with the four-year-old or older. She is now big enough to hurt you. You may feel like locking her in her room, but a safer option would be for you to lock yourself in your room until she is able to calm down. If you feel angry enough to hit your child immediately separate yourself from your child. Some mothers have put a child in a room and have found that the child destroys property. If she destroys toys, remember they are her toys, and you will not replace them. If she destroys parts of the room (breaks a window, dents walls, and so on), she will be shocked at her own angry power the first time it happens. It will most likely not be repeated because it is so scary. The older child can be required to work off what it costs you for repairs. If this destructive behavior does happen again, you will need professional help to sort it all out. There is just too much anger there. A sudden onset of tantrums is a clue to put on your detective hat. There is likely to be a problem going on in your child that needs solving.