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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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Suggest Treatment For Passive Aggressive Behavior

I am stubborn and irritable, I often hate my life and then hate myself for hating it. I get mad really easy, I procrastinate, and can t handle my homework or my life. I have been like this for almost 2 years now and its driving me insane. My main issue is the destructive relationship i have with my mother. Her personality bothers me a bit but she has some of the same issues i have and more including procrastination, stubbornness, she can t stop criticizing and yelling at people and i at all costs avoid her. I am a little to open with my feeling about her and her actions, but whenever i try to contain my anger it just makes it worse and i end up blowing up at her about the stupidest things. Even when i tell myself i hate her i really just want her to care, to be proud, to love me. Whenever i try to make her proud she just says its what i should be doing anyways and expects more from me and criticizes what i did. She is often illogical and selfish and won t listen to reason. It takes me an insane amount of will power to stop trying to hurt her because often by trying to hurt her i end up only hurting myself. I was getting better and i made some friends but even though i stopped causing problems for myself the problems i was reacting to still existed and sucked me right back in. I can t handle it anymore, any advice?
Mon, 2 May 2022
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Anesthesiologist 's  Response
Hi,

1) When we have problem with mom, it's quite natural that end up disgusted and extremely frustrated
2) Just think about best time in your life till now and ruminate on those moments at least for 15 mins daily
3) Every person is struggling and no one is entirely happy or without any worries
4) So cheer up and start spending more time with kids in your neighborhood. You will surely feel refreshed and satisfied
5) Try to sit with your mom and talk to her very gently....do not raise your voice how much ever she yells at you. Just stay calm and try to speak your mind gently
6) This is to be tried at least twice a week
7) You and your mom go to movies or atleast to a park once in 2 weeks or so.

Just try the above ones without getting depressed. You will win this battle. Some more tips that I follow when I feel disgusted and depressed:
1) Meditate daily just concentrate only on your breath for 5 minutes a day. Slowly you may increase it to 10 min daily.
2) Ask your mom to meditate with you. Don't worry even if she is not interested. You carry on with your daily routine.
3) Help your mom with her daily chores. That will bring both of you closer.
4) Play your mom's favorite music at night. She would certainly love it.

Take care. Hope I have answered your question. Let me know if I can assist you further.

Regards,
Dr. Pallavi M., Anesthesiologist
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Suggest Treatment For Passive Aggressive Behavior

Hi, 1) When we have problem with mom, it s quite natural that end up disgusted and extremely frustrated 2) Just think about best time in your life till now and ruminate on those moments at least for 15 mins daily 3) Every person is struggling and no one is entirely happy or without any worries 4) So cheer up and start spending more time with kids in your neighborhood. You will surely feel refreshed and satisfied 5) Try to sit with your mom and talk to her very gently....do not raise your voice how much ever she yells at you. Just stay calm and try to speak your mind gently 6) This is to be tried at least twice a week 7) You and your mom go to movies or atleast to a park once in 2 weeks or so. Just try the above ones without getting depressed. You will win this battle. Some more tips that I follow when I feel disgusted and depressed: 1) Meditate daily just concentrate only on your breath for 5 minutes a day. Slowly you may increase it to 10 min daily. 2) Ask your mom to meditate with you. Don t worry even if she is not interested. You carry on with your daily routine. 3) Help your mom with her daily chores. That will bring both of you closer. 4) Play your mom s favorite music at night. She would certainly love it. Take care. Hope I have answered your question. Let me know if I can assist you further. Regards, Dr. Pallavi M., Anesthesiologist