Want A Proper Diet In Bulimia Nervosa

I ve struggled with eating disorders since I was eleven, and I m ready to recover everyday I have to suffer. My current diagnosis is bulimia nervosa . I m thinking about putting up my mental block and telling myself no. I will give my permission to touch food, as if I m going to sneak it, but I cannot eat it. Everyday is the same routine: eat three bowls of cereal for breakfast, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, four servings at dinner, multiple deserts, all the while throwing it all back up. I can purge one to six times any given day. If I don t, I ll fall back into anorexia, and just sit there, cry, all the while starving and staring at food. My problem is, I m giving up on recovery and weight loss in general. It s my addiction, this eating disorder. So I planned a new diet for me since I feel like falling some days. I personally think it s a brilliant plan, but that may be my anorexia speaking to me. People have told me it s unhealthy and I ll only gain weight in the long run. My plan is to eat baby carrots with mustard or other condiments for breakfast. For lunch, an apple or banana. And just nibble on the food at dinner. Before I eat, I m planning on drinking two glasses of water on top of ten minutes of exercise. Afterward, another work out and another glass of water. In the mornings, I ll jog. I m going on seventeen, four eleven in height, and weigh a hundred and forty pounds. It s the only way I can think of to get down to 89 pounds. Is this truly that unhealthy?