I am a single parent to a 30 year old son, it has been just my son and I since he was 6 months old. My son who was diagnosed with depression 12 years ago and was put on anti-depressants which after some trial and error evened out his life. He had always been very kind, polite and gentle, a little bit of a loner like myself, until he started college and that is when he went to councelling and was diagnosed. This was a bit of a rough time for both of us especially when he would stop his meds and then lost jobs, bill collectors, no more friends with free rent, dropping out of school and at one time homeless. At one time I took the keys to my house away from him because he was coming in when I wasn't home and taking things of his which he was pawning. He would never take all of his stuff when he moved out and I was having a hard time trusting him and his friends that were roaming through my house while he was retrieving his items. On one occasion one of the girls walked into my house and let me know that my son, who walked in and walked past me without saying a word, was a grown man and that if I didn't stay out of his life and quit telling him what to do that he would cut me off and have nothing to do with me. I wouldn't see him for weeks at a time but he would keep in phone contact. He always came to me and together we would come up with a plan that worked for us, I do realize that he didn't have much choice but to agree. Not until we had a plan would I let him move back in or give him money, it was a couple of times of time that he moved back in and he would get caught up on bills and always paid me back any money that he borrowed. I thought I was reasonable, keep your area and your bathroom clean, and be respectful, like if your not going to be home on time leave a message or call. Both times he moved back out it was on good terms. Over the years I have learned some of his tells so I know when he would not be taking his meds or they in some cases just needed to be adjusted. I could gently nudge him until he would either just start taking the meds or he would eventually blow up (don't know exactly how to explain this but it was like he was stuck or fixated on one thing like a cat and once you get his attention he comes back to the real world and is calm, usually about 10 to 30 minutes, he would get back on the meds or see his care giver. There have been ups and downs, but things generally worked them selves out over a few day. It was 3 years ago that my mother took a fall and passed away 2 weeks later, it was an extremely rough time for both of us but life righted it self until about a year and a half later when I lost my father. With several friends my son and I got through this awful time, my son was the best medication for me. But I realized during my fathers short illness that I needed help and I went on an antidepressant through my health care provider. She recommended grief counceling also. I have several friends who have told me the benefits of acupuncture and had been considering one in the past but I decided that I would like to try this at the time and my health care provider was okay with that. I found her very calming, understanding and easy to talk to. I found the treatments along with the meds were working for me and gradually went off of the antidepressants just before summer, I didn't consult my health care provide before going off of the antidepressants but during a visit for a minor mishap I spoke to her about it and she said as long as I was comfertable it was okay. Life once again has evened out, my son is back in school and doing very well, has a good job and our relationship is the best it's been in years. I have up and down days and my job is a bit stressful but am happy. My son and I have always spent a lot of time together and even if one of us is in a relationship or are extremely busy we always make time for each other at least once a week for dinner, shopping or a movie. We generally touch base at the end of every day to compare notes. My son was interested so he also began to see the acupuncturist last summer. I started to suspected a couple of months ago that he was not taking his meds again, which he denied, but all of the old tells have begun to slowly show up and his high and low moods have been a little concerning to me. This last week he has been very short tempered about everything, I had been hoping for a more calm time to talk to him to see if he possible needed to see his care provider to have a med check but when I brought up the subject 2 nights ago he immediately went ballistic. There was no discussion or heated argument just him screaming in rage at how I had completely ruined his life and he never wants to hear or see me again and hung up. My hope was that after he calmed down we could talk but he blocked all communication. My fear was that he would hurt himself so I drove out to his apt and after about 5 min of coaxing got him to come out so that I could at least see that he was okay. He came out like a bull, stomped to the end of the porch and began screaming at me, he did finally calm a bit but the only explanation I have for the look on his face is that of rabid. I asked him again about his meds and he said that he was now being treated by the acupunturist and that it is not depression so he doesn't need the med because she has it all under control and I need to get the hell out of his life because I am the sole reason for all of his problems and all of the bad things that have ever happened to him in his life. By the time he got to the end of this rant he was again screaming. With his treats of calling the police I told him if the time came that he wanted to talk to me I would be there for him and I left. The acupuncturist is leaving or already gone for 3 weeks on vacation. I contacted a friend who thankfully listened to me for about an hour earlier today. Her husband is bi-polar so she has some idea of what I am going through. She also knows my son and the acupuncturist and is as surprised as I am at the chain of events. I have read and reread this several times. I am completely lost.