In order to have a fulfilling relationship, a woman needs to feel safe during intimacy and sexual intercourse. Important parameters that can make her feel safe are commitment, loyalty, emotional connect and safe physical contact. This is important for physical and mental wellbeing of both partners.

 

Women mostly needs some type of commitment from the man to ensure that he will be there to take care of her and her kids and to be around in good and bad times. Since polygamy has many types of risks, she can demand from him to be with her only. This makes her feel safe during times of intimacy, give birth and form a family. Institution of marriage stems from this need for commitment.

Loyalty towards the woman ensures that the commitment will continue. The man is expected to understand the importance of loyalty and not go outside the relationship. The aspect of loyalty depends on the state of mind of the man. If his mind is stable and undivided, he will tend to be loyal towards her and make her feel safe. He is expected to take responsibility of her and her kids with dedication. If he is confused in his mind, it can show in his relationships. He may get involved with more than one partner and suffer consequences of polygamy like infections, mental health issues and other physical health conditions.

Emotional connect seems to be important for the woman to make sure that the man has feelings only for her. Her own emotional state may include positive and negative emotions. When feeling negative, she may turn away from the man, ignore him and cry. When feeling positive, she tends to be clingy and happy. When she is neither or both positive/negative at the same time, then she is just observing. During these emotional states, she is also analyzing and concluding whether this relationship is worth all the investment or not. He is expected to make her feel happy at all times, which can require a lot of emotional and other types of investments from his side. Emotional connect can be draining when there are expectations, imperfections, judgements, grumbling and ego. Engaging in creative activities, dancing with music and devotion can help overcome the challenges involved in emotional connect.

Safe physical contact is important to avoid the infections and other types of traumas. This basically requires for both partners to do the act at a safe place (mostly in the privacy and comfort of their house), stay within their marriage and ensure a safe behavior during the act. In order to avoid unwanted pregnancies, many types of contraceptives are available. Using a contraception is much better than going for an abortion.

 

 

Written by Dr Vaishalee