Brief Answer:
Think positive about yourself

Detailed Answer:
Hello thanks for asking from Health Care Magic

I can understand your concern, and I will try to help you with your thoughts

After reading all of your history I would like to tell you that don't think bad about yourself. You had bad past and there was history of abuse during childhood. You never asked help from anyone and there were many difficulties during childhood like dirty environment, poor hygiene of room etc.
Presently you have many ambivalent thinkings and as per my opinion racing thoughts with increased thinking process be it during drinking water or in weight loss. You keep yourself starving, or have bing eating behaviour even if stomach hurts. Even in events like being touched by yourself, or about telling lie to yourself etc you have some of ambivalent thinking. You never took alcohol or drugs.

As per my opinion these thinkings can be considered as normal but to some extent considering your negative past and anxieties you suffered in past you should at least consider to visit a therapist for proper counselling. As per my opinion some sessions of Cognitive Therapy will help to correct faulty cognitions and abnormal thought process if any. The thinkings are not extreme but still you can consider to visit once.

Hope this helps you, ask again with more details and if you have more doubts.

Please try to think positive about yourself, try to ignore your bad past. It was a bad phase and now you should try to move past that phase. I am sure you will be in better position after doing that.

Thanks.

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Brief Answer:
Increased thinking’s

Detailed Answer:
Hello thanks for asking again

This is not that I doubt your intelligence. I am only suggesting you that just try to move past your bad past. Don't feel sorry for anything. I request you to please see a therapist for ambivalent thinking and any increased thought process of any.

You can get back to me if you have more doubts.

Thanks

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