hi my name is mary and 4 years ago i had a tarlov cyst removed from my coccyx. many surgeries later to stop the pain, i am going to pain management and finally trying to get back to my career with the help of pain killers and anti inflammatory'. its not easy as the pain meds can make me very down and negative with my life. my surgeon said i need to be on them to have the best quality of a pain free life. how do i get out of a dark place and dry to get back to a job that people do not want to hear from me, as there is little work in the tv business . i have to be happy and up and cant keep up the front , as i am in despair. can u help me on how to pro-tray a happy imagine and think positive with out the help of anti depressants . thank you