Humans are social animals and they tend to attach the terms love, loyalty, commitment, attachment, and marriage to their sexual behaviors. The concept of marriage encompasses all this and really supported by the society.

As per calculations on age of puberty and desire for partner, a person can have relationship with a single partner for a lifetime when marriage is early in life around 12-13 years of age. That is why in some communities they tend to have child marriages. By the age of 1 or 16 years, a person starts to feel attraction towards opposite gender and may “fall in love” with many people before deciding about his or her partner.

In real life, people are seen struggling with relationships and their needs getting fulfilled. To achieve their desired goals, they must manage multiple partners. In today’s era of technology and social media, they have access to many choices. This can increase the confusion in their life. The usual patterns of relations seen are:

1. Have one partner for assistant/friend/girlfriend role and other for spouse's role, so both know their rights and stay happy doing their roles. Let not the assistant become the spouse. Less painful. Loyalty or true love is only a concept. Work can get affected if assistant becomes the spouse.

2. Have one partner in telepathy/online and other in real life, so the one in telepathy/online is always unsatisfied. (Telepathy partner is usually dead or not reachable).

3. Due to need for loyalty, some may choose to spend few years with one partner and next few years with other and so on. In this mode, needs are getting fulfilled. Fear of sexually transmitted diseases is also seen in this type of relationship. Demand for loyalty can lead to many heart breaks and multiple breakups. People with negative tendencies or control issues make the breakup easier. 

4. Prostitution, where goal is money or promiscuous and indiscriminate sexual behavior is driven by lust.

It is said that patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. In relationships, if one is to patient and does not make the effort at body level, then fruit can go to someone else. So, make the genuine effort without harassing your love. Ask A Psychologist about how you can have the balance and overcome the breakups. It is all part of this world.

Written by Dr Vaishalee Punj