Question: I have a husband that is an alcoholic. I left him and and am currently staying with my daughter and her family, which is unfortunate for two reasons.....He calls and texts my daughter and her husband leaving rude messages that they are hiding me out, which they are not. He is drinking and driving and I feel that by my staying, he will only worsen as believe that my staying is condoning the behavior as well as the drinking. I am happy not being around him. He has become a toxic person and myself and my two kids and son in law avoid him. He was diagnosed with hemochromatosis less than five years ago., Actually went to two oncologists which told him the same thing. Transfuse your blood and we will re-examine and monitor you......He got in screaming matches with both doctors and they both told him that his drinking will kill him. He actually drank more since this diagnosis. He has severed the relationship he had with his parents, his brother, my sister (only siblinb and relative I have left in the world), She has a protective order on him, she is dating a married man, my husband contacted her and told her about the affair one night when he was drunk, this woman also filed a stalking injunction against him. there was a point when my sister told me to "get a handle on my husband and his behavior or he is going to jail. I have been in therapy for about six months, after loss of my mother, my career, my health (which I feel has worsened over the past couple of years), I was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, I have a calcified meningioma and my ms really flares up with the stress of living with him. He is very unpredictable. We are two completely different people, and our differences have finally come forward. He is telling me that he can't change if I don't come home. I have given him a 30 day period to clean up his act and get medical help of which he says he doesn't need medical help. I believe that physically and mentally he is a mess. where do I start, medical issues or psychological issues
should I leave my daughter's home and go somewhere else, husband recently damaged son in laws truck which will cost approximately $800.00. he has apologized and said he will pay for it, but where is he going to get the money? I have truly been so down that I have contemplated suicide, but I am doing everything I can do to help myself, he is not. please help me know that my leaving is not at all a risk to myself or my kids and grandkids

thank you for your reply. Just yesterday, after my being gone for ten days, husband contacted me and told me that last night he drank (got drunk), says that he can't do it alone, and as I had explained earlier in my prior question, The condition I gave him was 30 days sobriety, only then will I consider coming back.He was crying (which is the norm after he has tied one on the night before), and he attempted to explain it. I told him that he has regressed again, which he has not remained alcohol free for more than tree days since I left. I am currently seeing a psychotherapist, and one of the stipulations of my therapy was to seek out a stable home environment as well as attending an alanon ,meeting for family and friends, of which I have done, however I still have difficulty sharing my personal life with strangers.....Makes me feel weak and vulnerable. Therapist and I are working on that aspect of my own issues. I am a strong person, yet I feel that with the loss of my mother, loss of my job, health problems and a husband that is an alcoholic as well as a son that just returned home after hitting rock bottom, six months in jail and now has used heroine again.......Not sure that anybody could help me through this except God. I ask myself......what and where did I go wrong with these people in my life". I know I am a pushover, that is why neither one of them are taking me serious. I am having difficulty staying with my daughter, she has six children and are bursting at the seams without me here. Husband has now thrown my son out of our house, which was only going to be temporary anyway, but he is also now living at my daughters, which is now applying more pressure on me to find a semi permanent place to live. How permanent of a place should I be looking for? I am a nester and very organized and I am losing my mind without having a place of my own. I enjoy projects, love to see my success with they are completed. I wish that I had a strong male figure in my life......I don't know if I would take advice, but I know I would at least listen.........please reply if you have any suggestions for me. (I was put on fluoxetine years ago, but stopped taking them about one year ago, not sure they were helping me in any way.) My physician has placed me on 5mg of ambien , but recently told me to begin a regimen of 50-150mg of trazadone. I have slep apnea and I have difficulty sleeping even with the cpap machine.
thank you

should I involve the law? he sends me such inappropriate text messages and calls me the ":c" word. He came to my daughters house last night drunk pounding on the door....He does scare me. He then tells my son in law what a jerk he is for not answering the door, but there are children in the house, and last time we opened the door, the kids didn't hear him, but nonetheless, I don't want to talk to him. The only reason I haven't called the police is that I think he will get help, then he doesn';t, then he behaves like this again, then he doesn't, now he is missing work. This morning I left him a nice but strong message. I told him that I would give him advice.......call your family physician, get a referral to the hospital, get evaluated and go on FMLA until you get well......otherwise, at this pace, you will lose your job. I have ms and suffer relapses often, if he loses his job, I will lose my health coverage, I told him that also.
Would you agree with that advice? see physician, get referral, go on fmla to save your job and your marriage and your life possibly?
I believe he needs inpatient treatment as I am sure the doctors he will see will agree with me. He is a risk to himself. last night he threatened suicide with four text messages. I believe that this is mental and emotional abuse. I need to get completely away from him for awhile, but yet I feel obligated to my son that he just kicked out of our house, yet I know he will be ok with my daughter for awhile.
I think that if I were to leave here, my husband would stop bothering the kids, but when I run the options by the kids, they just respond by saying "dad used to do this and send rude messages when he drank, with me in the bedroom asleep, so they don't agree that my absence would cure the texts.
You have been very insightful and helpful with this crisis in my life.
Just this last question and I will give you an excellent rating., I wish you were here in Salt Lake City as I would love to be your patient,.
thanks.
jt